I Love Me, I Love Me Not

Outside of keeping God first in your life, there is nothing that matters more than loving and cherishing yourself. You are your first ministry—meaning, you need to take care of yourself before you can do anything for others. You matter and your life holds immense value. It’s unfortunate that we live in a society that tries to tell you otherwise and determine how much you are worth based on its own standard. No one can determine that but God and just by creating you, He made it very clear that you are important. You were created for far too great a purpose to allow your self-worth to be minimized by what the world tells you, or because of how negatively you see yourself. If you struggle with truly loving yourself, then this post is for you!

Is God Still On Your Back Burner?

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” (Matthew 6:33) When Jesus said this, He was making it very clear that God should be our number one priority above everything else. At times, people find themselves battling various trials and tribulations in life, wondering where God is and how they even got there. But, they don’t realize that some of those challenges didn’t come as a test from God; rather, they were the result of a misaligned relationship with God. We are all guilty of doing things our own way, and then asking God to get on board afterwards—that’s not how God works fam. To live a life surrendered to Him means letting Him guide you. But in order for God to guide you, you have to hear Him clearly. So tell me, what is drowning out God’s voice in your life?

It’s Not Even That Deep Bae … Is It?

Love is such a beautiful thing, especially when it is handled properly. It becomes even more incredible when it is manifested in the form of two people coming together romantically and, in time, becoming one in marriage. So, it may seem a bit weird to talk about “boundaries” but they are extremely important in a relationship! They help ensure the bond you two share is protected. Some would argue that nothing should be off-limits in a relationship but there are nuances to this as sometimes this can be misused and abused. There are certain boundaries that are needed to keep the love thriving and not dying a slow death. And trust me, you don't want to learn that by experience.

Family Always Knows What’s Right … Right?

The family bond is something that is not easily broken. Our families are our real Day 1s and have been with us since the beginning. I know they may get on your nerves and stress you at times, but the fact that they are your family will never change. However, just because they are your family doesn’t mean their input in different areas of your life is always for your benefit, and it doesn’t mean you are obligated to take it. They may have good intentions but that doesn’t always mean they are right. I mean, to be honest, there are some things in your personal life your family doesn’t need to know (e.g., when you have a disagreement with your partner). “But, how do I know when it’s okay and when it’s not?” Well, that’s where I come in!

Do You Have a Job or Does Your Job Have You?

Before I start talking about the much needed boundaries around your job, I encourage you to read the first part of this series about setting boundaries with yourself. It sets the tone for the entire series, and if you can’t set a boundary with yourself and stick to it, you’ll find it quite difficult to place them in other areas of your life. *insert Druski meme* “But hey, that’s just me.”

Now, let’s talk about the place that helps you keep the lights on at home—your job. For a place that we spend so much of our life in, you’d think that it would be a place you enjoy showing up to each day. But alas, jobs have drained the life out of many people. You find it increasingly more challenging with each passing day to show up and give your best because, in many cases, they are taking more out of you than they’re giving (you know, kind of like that toxic ex you haven’t let go of). Understand this—your job may pay you, but they don’t own you. And we are going to discuss how to make sure they know that, too.

Boundaries Start with You

Boundaries. Cambridge Dictionary defines it as, “a real or imagined line that marks the edge or limit of something.” I like this definition because it emphasizes that boundaries aren’t just about dividing continents, school districts and bodies of water; it is also about the boundaries of things we can’t physically see. Boundaries are critical in maintaining peace of mind, avoiding being taken advantage of, ensuring people don’t meddle in private areas of your life and protecting the people and things that matter most to you. Boundaries aren’t just for yourself either—they should be set with your job, your friendly relationships, your family and parents and your romantic relationships. But to start this Boundaries series off right, I need to first focus on setting boundaries with yourself.

Where Friendship Really Counts

At one point or another, we will have a friend who is going through a difficult situation in life. It could be the loss of a loved one, missing out on a job opportunity or promotion, experiencing a breakup or divorce, relationship challenges or something else. It can be challenging because you aren’t sure the best approach to help them through these situations or how you can be supportive without being overbearing. I don’t think there is one solution (besides God) to how you can help a friend when they experience a difficulty in life but I do think the effort you put in and the actions you take can have a positive effect. It may not solve their problems, but it can do them some good as they work to overcome the situation they find themselves in.

Thriving With Your Spec

You finally found your spec and you both decided to take the next step to establish an actual relationship. That is great news! Although it may feel a bit different at times now that you are fully committed to this person, love is a beautiful thing and I’m sure it will bring you lots of happiness and enjoyment. Getting here may not have been easy, but it will definitely be worthwhile. For that to happen, you have to make sure the relationship lasts. Don’t make the mistake of applying pressure to show someone you want a future with them, only to stop putting in as much effort once you are actually with them. Relationships take intentional effort to not only maintain them but help them grow. So, what does that look like?

Finding Your Spec

You don’t just jump into a great relationship that can withstand all the things life has to throw at it; you have to start by building a firm foundation for it to stand on. That foundation is built by picking a quality person that won’t break you down but will build you up. People convince themselves they’ll never find someone, but the real problem is usually the type of people they allow into their lives. You can’t choose to date a bum—and I mean both men and women—and expect everything to work itself out. You have to be scrupulous in who you are choosing to date (and by scrupulous, I don’t mean looking for the perfect person—which is what a lot of people do). So, how do you start building that firm foundation? Get to know the person.

Lord, Respectfully, What's Taking So Long?

Let me guess the process that led you here:

1. You had a desire for something — maybe a change in career, relationship status, family situation, financial circumstance — and prayed to God for it change

2. After praying, you waited and nothing happened

3. You prayed even more as time went on (more intensely than before)

4. You took it a step further and decided to fast on the matter to hear from God and see what’s causing the delay

5. And you still found yourself in the same circumstance

Sound about right?

Embrace God’s Best For You

We live in a time where we just never seem to be satisfied with where we are in life. If we aren't constantly comparing ourselves to other people, we are convincing ourselves that we aren't where we are "supposed" to be – which has never made sense to me because how does one even arrive at this conclusion? Is it because you aren't as successful as you thought you would be by this point in your life? Is it because you aren't generating as much income as you would have hoped? Is it because your day-to-day life doesn't seem social media worthy? Whatever your reason may be, you need to understand that you are on your specific path for a reason. There is a purpose God has for you, and only you can fulfill it if you stay the course.

Dang, Can I Catch a Break?

It seems like these days, everyone is dealing with one situation or the other. People have lost loved ones, jobs, friends, relationships, and their minds, trying to manage it all. It is extremely difficult to see any good in a situation when things seem dire; even more so when it seems to be one challenge after another. It’s also not an easy task to support and console those in your life that are going through these circumstances when you can’t imagine what it’s like to be in their shoes. But take heart - I’m here to reassure you that despite your situation, all hope is not lost.

Dating Nowadays: Do You Want to Secure Future Bae? (Part 1)

The moment you have all been waiting [a long time] for (lol). We have now come to the ending of this series. So far, we have covered both men and women, and what each side can do better in the dating world to get better results. But what can we do to improve the dating world as a whole? We can start by addressing the challenges we explored in the first two parts of this series. Below, I have listed advice on how to implement some simple strategies to help ensure you are not adding to the toxicity already out there and have better experiences with those in which you have interest. There may be other areas of your life you need to work on, but this can help you make some great headway not only for your benefit, but for the dating world overall.

The Buck Doesn’t Stop at 25

(Disclaimer - this is a long post, but I also know y'all got nothing but time now lol)

As I was blessed to see the milestone of 25 years of life last Friday, I reminisced on how far I’d come. The challenges I’ve faced, the impacts I’ve had, my shortcomings, my career, and the trajectory my future is on have all been essential in my growth to this point. It has not been easy. “Say it louder for the people in the back!!” said my audience. IT. HAS. NOT. BEEN. EASY. Hooookay?! But we thank God for seeing this year because many didn’t have the same opportunity.

Change Now, Reap Later

“New year, new me,” but you’re still doing the same things from 2018. “I’m starting the business this year,” but you’re still hanging around your demotivated friends. “Oh, I am definitely going to start this diet,” but you’re still hitting McDonalds for that 2 for $5 Fish Filet. “I’m over them and won’t give them another chance,” but you’re still sending them “wyd” texts when you get lonely. “I won’t cheat on you again,” but you’re still responding to those late night “you up?” texts and still answering DMs on social media. “I’m going to value myself and my body,” but you’re still posting thirst traps.” “I’m going to change Lord,” but you’re still living the same life as non-believers. “God, I’m going to follow your plan and go where you lead me,” but you’re still trying to make your own dreams happen.

Being Planted Longer Than You'd Like

I am currently in a phase of my life where I feel like I have been placed in a particular situation and no matter how much I hope, pray, or wish, I can’t get out of it. Are you facing a similar scenario? Do you feel like you’re in a place where you want to move to something or somewhere different, but can’t seem to do so? It took some time to realize, and it may be hard to believe, but that’s actually a good thing. It means you’ve been planted in a place that is meant to help you grow in some way.

Setbacks are Not Always a Step Back

No one likes to take an L (loss). Just ask LeBron James, or Rob Kardashian, or Michael Cohen. So it makes sense that when things take a turn for the worst, or don’t work out the way you want, it gets you down. However, very rarely do we actually think that there could be a reason for the “bad” things that happen to us. We become so focused on things not going well that we don’t even think about why it’s happening. Well, I’m here to tell you that whether you believe it or not, not every setback is necessarily a step back. And when you are able to apply this to your life, big things will be revealed to you.

My Hiatus of Solitude [Part 2: The Lessons]

So here’s what ya boy learned (again, sorry for the length of this post):

My Hiatus of Solitude [Part 1: The Journey]

I had a lot of trouble writing this post, because each time I started, questions began to flood my mind. How do I fit 5 months of experience into one post? How do I keep it concise enough that people actually read it entirely? Did I gain as much from my fast of solitude as I wanted, or claim? The truth is, I can’t guarantee the right answers for all of these questions because everyone will have their own interpretation of what I have to share. But, I think it’s been put on my heart to say something since I came out of my fast with a new, refreshed, and solidified mindset. My hope is that even if you aren’t Christian, my takeaways will resonate with you in the same manner they did with me. This fast opened my eyes to many things, and I hope it does for you as well.

"I Believe the Children are Our Future"

We were all kids once. We know just how crazy a roller coaster ride it was, but all of the things that happened during our childhood are what shaped who we have become. That crucial stage in our lives determined our future, and it was a fragile time where the smallest things could have lasting impacts. That is why its important to make positive impacts on kids while they're still young, so it continues to grow inside of them and helps them become great people.