Wednesday, May 23, 2018

My Hiatus of Solitude [Part 2: The Lessons]

So here’s what ya boy learned (again, sorry for the length of this post):

The Importance of Patience

It shouldn’t just be a virtue; it needs to be a lifestyle

Sometimes, when we become impatient with God’s plan for us, we tend to go off on our own to try to make things happen ourselves, and we end up further away from our goal. Then we start wondering where He is, and why He “put us in the place” we are in. Sound familiar?

We live in a world where instant gratification is programmed into us, and when we don’t get it, we make mistakes by taking matters into our own hands

Patience is something we need to survive in life. It’s how we deal with our daily demands such as family, work, school, and friends. It’s also a trait God wants us all to have. Think of all the mistakes we make and how He never gives up on us. He is patient and welcomes us home when we are ready, just like the story of the prodigal son. Let that sink in. He waits for us no matter what we do wrong or how long it takes us to come to our senses. We should aim to emulate that in our own lives. Learning and practicing patience has at the very least given me peace of mind.

Each Event in Life Has Meaning

Everything happens for a reason

God placed us on this Earth to fulfill an objective. Unless we are actually listening to Him, and not allowing our own agendas to interfere, we will never understand our true purpose.

Everything in life- the people we meet, the experiences we have, the “coincidences” that occur, and the challenges we face- has some purpose behind it

By praying to God for understanding, and being more receptive of His voice and signs, we can gain clarity on why different things happen. For example, 2 years ago, I remember becoming very agitated when I missed my train on my way to an interview. It turns out that same train ended up smoking and having an electrical malfunction right before it arrived at my intended stop. Coincidence? I think not. Once you learn to connect the dots in life, you wouldn’t believe how many things begin to make sense.

The People You Surround Yourself With

“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with” – Jim Rohn

We underestimate the impact those in our social circles have on us. Think about it- how often do you find yourself using the same phrases as these people, even when they’re not around? Does the group tend to act in a similar manner? The bottom line is that we are influenced by them in some way.

This was tough for me to come to terms with because I realized that there were certain people in my life that influenced me to make decisions that weren’t conducive to my fast, or the path I wanted to follow. It also meant that if I wanted to see certain changes, or truly have a different mindset, it would probably mean limiting, if not cutting off, those ties. And unfortunately, that’s a part of life.

“Not everyone who started with you will finish with you. Be willing to go without them if you need to." – Tony Gaskins

But once I started making those tough choices, my life started turning in the direction I desired.

We are Not Perfect

We are all bound to make mistakes

No matter how many times I’ve heard this phrase, I’ve continued to condemn myself anytime I sin- and that’s not healthy. We forget that we are human, and therefore, are not perfect. Now, does that mean go and do whatever you want? No. We should be actively working to avoid doing wrong (Romans 6:1-2).

Make a mistake more than once and it becomes a decision

But remember, if you stumble, just pick yourself up, and keep moving forward because we are saved by His grace. Just don’t abuse that truth fam. And for those individuals who love pointing out and judging the wrong others do, remember that the Bible discourages us from playing the judge (Matthew 7:1-2). These people believe they are spotless- despite us all being human and made in God’s image- and that it is their duty to pass judgement on others. Relax oh holy ones. God is judging you, too.

The Challenges We Face

“Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6)

Every challenge you face is meant specifically for you and your betterment, such as growing your faith, solidifying a strong mindset that can overcome all, being in a position to help others, etc. Think about Paul and the “prick in his side” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10). He doesn’t give too much detail about what it is but explains how it was a means for God to keep him humble. God uses our “prick” as a means for us to beat any challenge that comes our way by helping us reach that peak (the prick) and overcoming it.

“For I know I have plans for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Many times we question why we are going through certain stages in our life. In reality, God is just looking out for us by building us up in different areas so that we can take on even greater challenges in the future. The tougher the challenge, the bigger the plan He has for you once you overcome it. Also, one thing I’ve found helpful is having a support system and people you can turn to when things get unbearable. We as human beings thrive on our interactions and connections with others. So it makes sense why life wasn’t meant to be endured alone. Why do you think God created Eve?

Trusting God’s Pace and Process

Trust in His delays rather than doubt His ways

As much as we claim not to, ­and as hype as we were after listening to “God’s Plan,” when things aren’t going the way we anticipated, our trust and faith in God tends to waver. God has his reasons for everything He does. You think Judgement Day hasn’t happened yet because He forgot? He’s trying to give us time to get our act together because He cares. So think about why He might be delaying your blessing.

But that’s not the only reason why things don’t go the way we want.

Sometimes we think we’re the ones waiting on God, when really, God is waiting on us

Throughout this time of self-reflection, I’ve realized there are many areas of my life in which I need improvement, and it took great effort and humility to come to terms with that. We forget that God is, well, God. He knows us better than we know ourselves. When we try to take things into our own hands, God will just look at us like, “Oh, you think you know what’s best? Because you got to where you are on your own, right? Okay. I’ll just watch.” In the end, we end up right back at square one.

I’ve had countless times where I’ve done just that and I would laugh when it failed because I knew God was telling me, “Oh, you thought you were gonna do my job for me? You tried it.” One example I believe everyone can relate to was when I was unsuccessfully seeking a relationship.

There was a period where literally every girl I wanted to talk to, or ask out, had a boyfriend. No joke- Every. Single. One. It got to the point where just for jokes I walked up to a girl, had a whole conversation, and just asked if she was committed. Before she even said yes, I couldn’t help but smirk because I already knew what she would say. I just looked up at God like, “You can’t let me live just once, Lord?” And you know being African, I was already getting the same questions talking about, “Where’s your wife,” 🙄 like mom, relaaaax; I know you want grandkids but sheesh. Then she’d start quoting the Bible with, “He who finds a wife …” and I’d just be sitting there wondering if future bae was getting the same talk. And if she was, pondering why she hadn’t come and stolen my heart yet, as well as paid my groom price? To those already rolling eyes and kissing teeth– because I know there’s probably a lot of y’all- abeg, let me dream lol. But I digress. He was trying to tell me it wasn’t my time. Eventually, I realized how right He was, and how I could have been in a really bad place had I ignored Him. In the end, you will have no choice but to listen to what God is trying to tell you because His will supersedes all.

So don’t stress. Just follow God’s pace, and you’ll reach your destination.

I know this post may have been a bit overwhelming in content, but I wouldn’t be sharing all of this if I didn’t think it was important. My hope is that at least some part of this spoke to you and will have some impact on your life. We are all unique in a sense that we are facing and have different challenges and purposes, but there is good reasoning behind all of it. Just ask God to show you the master plan. Who knows, maybe this’ll inspire you to start a fast of your own. Well, maybe not 5 months 😅 but you get the idea. With that, I wish you all good luck. And remember, life is a continuous learning cycle; it will always have so much more to teach you.

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