I Love Me, I Love Me Not

Outside of keeping God first in your life, there is nothing that matters more than loving and cherishing yourself. You are your first ministry—meaning, you need to take care of yourself before you can do anything for others. You matter and your life holds immense value. It’s unfortunate that we live in a society that tries to tell you otherwise and determine how much you are worth based on its own standard. No one can determine that but God and just by creating you, He made it very clear that you are important. You were created for far too great a purpose to allow your self-worth to be minimized by what the world tells you, or because of how negatively you see yourself. If you struggle with truly loving yourself, then this post is for you!

“So, I hear you but why does self-love really matter?”

It’s God’s Desire For You

Listen, the Bible boasts of how we were made in God’s image. That alone illuminates the point that God made you with a purpose. His intention for you is to, “prosper you and not harm you; to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11) Our gracious and loving God wants you to know that you are valued and loved. Yes, you may have made many mistakes and will still sin, but, “I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love.” (Romans 8:28) When you begin to embrace this truth and start understanding how meaningful this is, it gets easier and easier to love yourself, no matter what society may tell you.

It Builds Your Self-Esteem

When you don’t love yourself, your self-esteem drops and you become susceptible to being taken advantage of by others. When you see yourself as lesser, it increases the likelihood that others will see you as the same. You should never entertain the idea that your life doesn’t hold much value. Self-esteem is a key area that is influenced by self-love and it heavily impacts how successful you will become in life. If you don’t even believe in yourself, how can you hope to achieve anything? Self-love improves your self-esteem; so, even if circumstances arise, or if the world starts turning its back on you, you will not be shaken.

It Leads You to Love Others

You can’t express to others what you don’t even understand yourself. Well, maybe you could—but what would that even look like? If you don’t treat yourself right and don’t know your own self-worth, how are you going to express genuine love to others? It will always fall short of what you could show if you loved yourself completely. When you love yourself, the love you give to others will be that much greater. When you understand the importance of self-love, it serves as a catalyst to your true expression of love to others. In doing so, you are contributing to a positive cycle of the expression of God’s love to those who need it.

It Helps Avoid Mistreatment

When you see someone who does whatever people want them to do, lack of self-love has played a role. When you see someone staying in an abusive relationship, lack of self-love has played a role. When you see someone with self-destructive tendencies, lack of self-love has played a role. When you love yourself, there is a line people are not able to cross with you. You have a level of self-respect that, when put at risk, you take the necessary actions to protect it. If you don’t love yourself, it can result in some very unfortunate circumstances. You have to love yourself to know when someone is mistreating and undervaluing you.

It Encourages Other People

You would be surprised at the number of people who face an internal struggle to truly know their self-worth and believe that their life has value. When people see the standard you uphold for yourself because you embody self-love, it can help shine a light on the greater issue in their lives—that as difficult as it may be to admit, they don’t love themselves. However, despite their current reality, you can create hope in them by living by example. You never know who is watching. And of course, you can verbally encourage them as well. You may just be the light they needed to step out of the darkness.

“I mean, that all makes sense, but that doesn’t make loving myself any easier. You don’t know what I’ve done, what I have been through and the things that I have been told for years that have contributed to how I see myself now. So, what actual steps can I take to start learning to love myself again?"

I’m glad you asked!

Present it to God

Truly and honestly, God’s view of you is what matters above all else. So, if you are struggling with the idea of loving yourself, take it to God in prayer. Let Him show you how valued a child you are to Him. You are blessed to be able to have a 1-on-1 conversation with your Creator. If He loves you so much that He gives you that level of access, what lie can the enemy tell you to make you love yourself less? God can remind you of your value so that you can work on loving yourself little by little until it is no longer a challenge for you.

Read Your Word

God can also speak to us through the Bible. Throughout Scripture, we see countless examples of people who made egregious mistakes, and yet, God’s love for them did not waver. Everyone is guilty of sin, but the ultimate price was paid for us all. That means that even when you stumble, you can be redeemed. Staying in that place of regret is where the enemy wants you and contributes to why loving yourself gets difficult. Everyone falls short but because the love of God does not change, your love for yourself shouldn’t either.

Flip the Script

If there are aspects of your life that are creating challenges, it may be time for a change. It could be friends, community, and even media outlets. That may mean limiting interactions with a loved one, or even cutting off social media altogether. Nonetheless, a change can create a considerable impact on your life and how well you love yourself. Sometimes, even with all your efforts, when you return to the same negative things, you end up back at square one. If God is leading you to switch things up, then I think it’s time to listen. Don’t be your own opp.

Practice Affirmations

I highly recommend having affirmations you speak over yourself daily. Continue repeating them to remind yourself that you are worth loving. “I matter.” “Even when I make mistakes, I am loved.” “My life holds great value.” “I know my self-worth and no one can take that away from me.” The consistency in your affirmations will help the message move from your head to your heart. You will realize that loving yourself is possible and it will be a HUGE benefit for your life. It will also help you to fight against the lies of the enemy that tell you otherwise.

Rediscover Yourself

What makes you happy? What energizes you? What are you passionate about? What are the talents and abilities that you have overlooked or forgotten? Find more opportunities to dive deeper into the things that will make you smile. Get back into that hobby. Sign up for a group that allows you to shine in your giftings. Take yourself on dates. Go out and do the things you enjoy at your own pace. When you take the time to invest into yourself and the things that matter to you, negativity will begin to take up less space in your life.

Trust me, I get it. I know that parent or loved one said you wouldn’t succeed. I know that ex said you weren’t worth anyone’s time. I know that teacher repeated over and over again that you wouldn’t amount to anything. Don’t believe the cap! This world needs you and it needs the impact you’ll have on it. We’ll never get to experience it if you don't love yourself.

The only one who determines your value is God. He wants you to understand and embrace that you are His child, His creation and His pride and joy, and because of that, your life matters. No one—and I mean no one—can ever take that away from you. Learn to love yourself the way God does and continue to work on becoming all He has intended for you to be! Trust and believe that there are greater heights in which He wants to take you.