I Love Me, I Love Me Not

Outside of keeping God first in your life, there is nothing that matters more than loving and cherishing yourself. You are your first ministry—meaning, you need to take care of yourself before you can do anything for others. You matter and your life holds immense value. It’s unfortunate that we live in a society that tries to tell you otherwise and determine how much you are worth based on its own standard. No one can determine that but God and just by creating you, He made it very clear that you are important. You were created for far too great a purpose to allow your self-worth to be minimized by what the world tells you, or because of how negatively you see yourself. If you struggle with truly loving yourself, then this post is for you!

It’s Not Even That Deep Bae … Is It?

Love is such a beautiful thing, especially when it is handled properly. It becomes even more incredible when it is manifested in the form of two people coming together romantically and, in time, becoming one in marriage. So, it may seem a bit weird to talk about “boundaries” but they are extremely important in a relationship! They help ensure the bond you two share is protected. Some would argue that nothing should be off-limits in a relationship but there are nuances to this as sometimes this can be misused and abused. There are certain boundaries that are needed to keep the love thriving and not dying a slow death. And trust me, you don't want to learn that by experience.

Where Friendship Really Counts

At one point or another, we will have a friend who is going through a difficult situation in life. It could be the loss of a loved one, missing out on a job opportunity or promotion, experiencing a breakup or divorce, relationship challenges or something else. It can be challenging because you aren’t sure the best approach to help them through these situations or how you can be supportive without being overbearing. I don’t think there is one solution (besides God) to how you can help a friend when they experience a difficulty in life but I do think the effort you put in and the actions you take can have a positive effect. It may not solve their problems, but it can do them some good as they work to overcome the situation they find themselves in.

Thriving With Your Spec

You finally found your spec and you both decided to take the next step to establish an actual relationship. That is great news! Although it may feel a bit different at times now that you are fully committed to this person, love is a beautiful thing and I’m sure it will bring you lots of happiness and enjoyment. Getting here may not have been easy, but it will definitely be worthwhile. For that to happen, you have to make sure the relationship lasts. Don’t make the mistake of applying pressure to show someone you want a future with them, only to stop putting in as much effort once you are actually with them. Relationships take intentional effort to not only maintain them but help them grow. So, what does that look like?

Real Friends, How Many of Us?

When it comes to the topic of friendship, everyone seems to have different definitions. But I think Dictionary.com defines a friend pretty well as, “a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.” I believe this definition really helps delineate between a true friend and these numerous “friend” variations society has created. In my opinion, family is family and is in a category of its own. But if you’re sexually involved with someone who isn’t your partner, can you truly say this person is a friend? What happens if you remove the sexual aspect - will you still be real friends? Let’s look at what a friendship looks like and go from there.

Dating Nowadays: Do You Want to Secure Future Bae? (Part 1)

The moment you have all been waiting [a long time] for (lol). We have now come to the ending of this series. So far, we have covered both men and women, and what each side can do better in the dating world to get better results. But what can we do to improve the dating world as a whole? We can start by addressing the challenges we explored in the first two parts of this series. Below, I have listed advice on how to implement some simple strategies to help ensure you are not adding to the toxicity already out there and have better experiences with those in which you have interest. There may be other areas of your life you need to work on, but this can help you make some great headway not only for your benefit, but for the dating world overall.

Dating Nowadays: Oh, You Still Single? (Part 1)

I don’t think I’ve seen the dating world as disordered as I do now. It’s kind of crazy when you think about how high the divorce rate is, and how it’s risen over time. But if you REALLY think about the steps that people take towards a marriage, you’d realize a lot of the problems stem from the place that set the stage for it𑁋 the dating phase. The way it’s treated, the way we go about it, and how we take off from there heavily impacts the outcomes we later experience. So to solve the bigger problem, we have to start at the source.

A Time to Love and A Lifetime to Keep it Going

We talk about self-love all the time but don't really understand what it truly means. If we did, we wouldn't take it so lightly and would give it the respect it warrants. To love oneself, honestly, wholeheartedly and unconditionally sets the tone for the rest of your life. It will determine the type of people you surround yourself with, how you interact with them, how much of yourself you share with them, the authenticity of the relationships you make, and how you carry yourself. This means your love for yourself or lack thereof dictates your future; so you should treat it as such. Because if you don't love yourself, it can and will manifest in different areas of your life in a negative way.

Valentine's Day Special

Happy Valentine's Day! I just wanted to share 6 tidbits of information with you all to bear in mind as we near the end of this day. During this season of love, you may realize that there are people who place too much emphasis on the need to go above and beyond on this specific day, individuals who make this holiday more about material items opposed to the actual showing of love to a special someone, and those who become really downtrodden watching others on social media enjoy the company of their partners while they're at home, single, re-watching The Notebook for the 5th time in a row. Everyone handles today differently, so it's not just limited to the aforementioned stereotypical people. However, society creates an atmosphere where people feel like they have to be with someone, and/or if you do have someone, that today is the one day for you to really show you care about them. So I wanted to give you all some input to assure you that you don't have to follow either trend, and that where you are in your life, committed or single, is perfectly fine. Don't let society dictate your life.

Why Settle?

It’s such a liberating feeling to be with someone that makes you happy. It’s even more exhilarating to think that person is your soulmate, or the person you were destined to be with. You invest a great deal of time, effort and money into them, as well as sacrifice for them, in hopes of this being the relationship that lasts forever. Sometimes we become so consumed in it that we begin to overlook signs that maybe we are in over our heads. Maybe it starts with small habits they exhibit that starts ticking you off more than it used to. You say, “Nobody’s perfect.” Then, maybe you begin to realize the arguing happens a little more often, and usually goes unresolved. So you might say, “Every relationship has its troubles.” The list of the little things people tend to ignore in relationships goes on and on. We become blind to the truth that’s right in front of us; the truth that maybe, just maybe, we aren’t with our future wife, or husband. But how does one really determine this?

Battle of the Sexes: Part 4 - There is No Title to Encompass a Woman

Being a woman is a beautiful thing. Let that word sink in - woman. The word holds a significant amount of weight. They were made with the ability to do the impossible. They are a beauty to behold. They are a treasure that people will cherish forever. They face challenges on a daily basis - and on a monthly basis - that seem unbearable to most. But somehow, they find a way to overcome them. Overall, being a woman is an honor and a gift that should be embraced. But what exactly is the makeup of this divine creature? What qualities must one possess to be a woman? Just as I explained the complexity of a woman and what she does, it is understandable that there may be confusion and misconceptions about what it means to be one. Not everyone can be called a woman. It’s not a title one receives because of age or by inheritance. It’s not a word one can throw around when they think they’re grown. It is an accolade that is earned.

Battle of the Sexes: Part 2 - Real Men, How Many of Us?

What exactly do you think makes you a man? Are your actions and lifestyle reflective of those ideals? As men, we are all guilty of falling prey to stereotypes at some point in our lives, where we believed our actions were representative of what it meant to be a man. Whether that was reinforced by the hype and encouragement from our boys or the society that we live in, that didn’t always mean we were right. Coming to terms with the truth is tough and for some, it’s not a case of learning the truth, but accepting it. To my surprise, my view of the misconceptions guys have of what it takes to be a man overlapped significantly with the input from women. So take these words with a grain of salt. To my fellas, don’t take this post as me calling you out because I, as a man, have things I have to improve as well. Rather, take this post as a way to help you better yourself in areas you may be lacking in or with which you may have the wrong idea. It will make a difference in the long run.

Battle of the Sexes: Part 1 - "What a Man, What a Mighty Good Man"

So you think you know what makes a man? You believe you can think like them and know what goes on in their heads? What's your justification? Is it personal experience? Is it what your friends have gone through? Is it what you read online, saw in a movie, or heard on the radio? Well, similar to how difficult it can be to understand the complexity of a woman, there is more to a man than meets the eye. There are a significant amount of supposed facts I hear from my female friends and women in my life about men, and more often times than not, it's usually wrong. I feel that the view of men being "dogs" and "good-for-nothing" tends to take precedence over the truth about them. That's not to say that there aren't a good amount of them that promote this stereotype, which makes it hard for women to think otherwise, but a few off colors in a painting shouldn't take away from its beauty. Don't let those guys ruin your perception of men.

Then what is the truth about men?

Battle of the Sexes Series in the Works

Men. As simple as they may seem, there is actually a lot more to them than most people know. My initial motivation for this piece comes from years of hearing about all the problems women have had with "typical men", and how they are no good. This usually stemmed from events, such as a guy breaking a girl's heart or forgetting the things — like anniversaries and dates — that make the biggest difference. So I thought maybe an explanation of how men operate and how they think would help correct some of their misconceptions. My goal is to introduce a new perspective, in hopes to alter the way women see us. This may be an extremely difficult task since Beyonce dropped Lemonade, but I’m up for the challenge. In the process of brainstorming this idea, I decided to add a spin on the piece.

Instead of simply discussing the issue at hand, I wanted to break this down into a blog series. In the first part of this series, I’d explain some of the misconceptions surrounding men. I’d then go on to explain some of the characteristics men believe are necessary to be a man, and why they’re false. After that, I would do the same for the women. The one thing I want everyone to keep in mind is that my words aren't law. Every person in this world is different, so not everything will apply to a single person. However, these pieces will still provide substantial knowledge of the truth behind men and women, and what you should keep in mind about them before you approach or profile them. Now that you have the background, let's get to work.

"I Believe the Children are Our Future"

We were all kids once. We know just how crazy a roller coaster ride it was, but all of the things that happened during our childhood are what shaped who we have become. That crucial stage in our lives determined our future, and it was a fragile time where the smallest things could have lasting impacts. That is why its important to make positive impacts on kids while they're still young, so it continues to grow inside of them and helps them become great people. 

Gone Too Soon

We all have loved ones. We'd be lying if we said we didn't. They are the ones we hold closest to us, and that mean more to us than anything. Usually these are your direct family members, the people who have been in your life since you took your first breath. Then there are your blood relatives, close relatives, family friends, and so on. But loved ones aren't just family, they are our friends, best friends, bffs, bffls, boyfriends, girlfriends, and others we have encountered in our lives with whom we have formed a special, unbreakable bond. These connections that we share with those special individuals are not only what make us human, but also make the world an easier place to live in.

Valentine's Day is for Suckers? | A Make or Break Holiday

Will you be mine? Such few words carry so much weight. Those words usually come about on Valentine's Day, a day with a lot of mixed emotions. There are usually multiple groups on the matter, those whom having no valentine has been a yearly thing, those in relationships who of course have no problem finding one, those singles who usually have valentines and others. Valentine's Day has become pretty popular since its meaning changed from back in the 5th century to remember the death of a martyr. It's become pretty Americanized since then and now represents a special day we show extra special love to that extra special someone. Of course you shouldn't need one day specifically to show someone you care, but its become tradition that this be a special day that maybe you tell that person you like them, or you take the next step with someone you're committed to. Whatever the reason may be, Valentine's Day has become a big deal and a huge part of our lives.