Unblurring the Lines of Friendship

“Friends—how many of us have them?” We have all been blessed with having at least one person in life we call a friend. With friendships comes an abundance of great talks, laughs, support and a lifetime of memories. They should be cherished and valued as the blessing that they are in our lives. Now don’t get me wrong, friendships also come with hardships, difficult conversations and disagreements, but overall, they are a source of great happiness in the midst of the turmoil faced in this world. And it’s for that reason we must take extra precautions and steps to ensure the friendship lasts by addressing the “little” things that we think aren’t a big deal but actually carry a great deal of weight. Those “little” things are boundaries.

Finding Your Spec

You don’t just jump into a great relationship that can withstand all the things life has to throw at it; you have to start by building a firm foundation for it to stand on. That foundation is built by picking a quality person that won’t break you down but will build you up. People convince themselves they’ll never find someone, but the real problem is usually the type of people they allow into their lives. You can’t choose to date a bum—and I mean both men and women—and expect everything to work itself out. You have to be scrupulous in who you are choosing to date (and by scrupulous, I don’t mean looking for the perfect person—which is what a lot of people do). So, how do you start building that firm foundation? Get to know the person.

Dating Nowadays: Do You Want to Secure Future Bae? (Part 2)

And the finale has finally arrived! Let’s close out the series, shall we?

Stop Carrying Old Baggage

How can you expect to build something solid with someone on a shaky foundation? You’re mixing your old baggage and unresolved past hurt into this bond you’re developing, and it’s going to end in the connection falling apart. This new individual you are looking to potentially create a future with is not the cause of your past heartbreak, nor should they be held accountable for it. That means that if you want things to go smoothly and you want what you two build to last, you need to get yourself right. That means you need to check yourself first and ensure you have a clean slate before opening yourself up to someone else.

Dating Nowadays: Do You Want to Secure Future Bae? (Part 1)

The moment you have all been waiting [a long time] for (lol). We have now come to the ending of this series. So far, we have covered both men and women, and what each side can do better in the dating world to get better results. But what can we do to improve the dating world as a whole? We can start by addressing the challenges we explored in the first two parts of this series. Below, I have listed advice on how to implement some simple strategies to help ensure you are not adding to the toxicity already out there and have better experiences with those in which you have interest. There may be other areas of your life you need to work on, but this can help you make some great headway not only for your benefit, but for the dating world overall.

Dating Nowadays: It's Time to Up Your Game Queens (Part 6)

And now ladies, you’re up! We are here to answer the question, “How can you address the areas you’ve fallen short when it comes to dating men?” Again, if you haven’t read the previous posts of this series, please go read them first before continuing. Otherwise, let’s hop right in.

Dating Nowadays: It's Time to Up Your Game Kings (Part 5)

And after a very hefty waiting period, we have arrived at the part you all have been waiting for - the dating solutions discussion. We are starting with the men to answer the question, “How can you address the areas you’ve fallen short when it comes to dating women?” If you haven’t read the previous posts of this series, please go back and read them first for context. For those who have been following it diligently, let’s keep it going.

Dating Nowadays: Step It Up King (Part 3)

Fellas, fellas, fellas. I know it’s “ladies first” but you knew I had to start with you. Let me just preface and say that the areas of improvement I list below are not meant to be taken as shots at you - unless the shoe fits. This is meant to give a transparent view at what within you needs to change through constructive criticism - and when I say constructive criticism, I mean you should be reading this with the intention to take an honest look at yourself and determine what areas you need to improve. If you read through this list and begin to get defensive, start calling out the shortcomings of women, and/or try to justify the actions below, then you are missing the entire point of this post. As men, we are called to lead in numerous arenas, and be an example to others. But how can we do that if we ourselves aren’t the best version of ourselves, nor do we make the effort to correct our own faults?

Dating Nowadays: Oh, You Still Single? (Part 2)

Welcome back! If you haven’t read the first part of this series, I strongly recommend you go back and finish that piece before starting this one. If you have, let’s keep the list going!