No one likes to take an L (loss). Just ask LeBron James, or Rob Kardashian, or Michael Cohen. So it makes sense that when things take a turn for the worst, or don’t work out the way you want, it gets you down. However, very rarely do we actually think that there could be a reason for the “bad” things that happen to us. We become so focused on things not going well that we don’t even think about why it’s happening. Well, I’m here to tell you that whether you believe it or not, not every setback is necessarily a step back. And when you are able to apply this to your life, big things will be revealed to you.
I admit that I have not done this with every predicament that arises in my life. But through trial and error, thorough inspections, and lots of prayer, I have gotten better at it. As a result, I handle life’s curveballs much better and continue to keep faith that these setbacks are really just a setup.
For this post, I want to share some short stories from my friends’ lives and my own that help drive home the point of why it’s important to stay positive when things go south. Now, this section is a bit lengthy, but I highly encourage you to read all of it (and hey, I wrote a short post last month; so you’ll be fine). Coincidentally, these were revealed before I started this post; so maybe not having the time to write this until now was intentional. Hmmm.
Story 1:
One day, my friend and I were driving home in a terrible downpour. We were rushing because I needed to make it to the metro before it closed; so my friend picked up speed. Throughout the day, we had been discussing how he wanted to start a business, but hadn’t heard direct word from God on what to do, and how. However, in my opinion, some of the things that had happened to him seemed to already point towards what he needed to do. Suddenly, he hit a deep pothole and it popped his front tire.
Thankfully, we made it to a gas station and begin replacing it. Lo and behold, a man drives up after he had hit the same pothole and met the same fate. They both talked about their bad luck for a bit, and then, my friend got the urge to ask him what he did for a living. Get this— this man works to help people start businesses. Crazy right?! It gets better—this man had been going to my friend’s church and he didn’t even know it! But if we had not been on that road at that time, and taken the same L, that meeting may never have happened. — Setback = a Setup
Story 2:
My friend has been at a job where she feels underutilized and stagnant; she believed there was no progression in sight. Time and again, she would do the same tasks and felt as if God wasn’t listening to her when she asked for a change. She believed she had bigger things she was meant for, and that she was wasting her time at the office. However, after a couple of months, she began to recognize a change. Not only was she being given more responsibility, her status in the office began to elevate. She had people seeking her help, mentioning her name to take on different projects, and much more.
The funny thing is that this had been happening for a while but she only began to realize what was happening when she stopped focusing on the supposed “setback” and concentrated on the reason why she had been planted there— God was trying to humble her. Had she gotten everything she prayed for, she may have never understood the requirements of coming into the fullness of her blessing. She may have even lost sight of how she got there, and less glory would have been given to God. Now, the wheels are moving to take her to new heights. — Setback = a Setup
Story 3:
My friend from high school was having the worst luck with women. He would be getting to know someone and it would either amount to nothing, or he would get shut down. There was one girl in particular he really liked. I mean, he would bring her up in almost all of our conversations. He believed this was the girl he needed to be with. However, when he officially asked her out, she didn’t want to commit. I believed she just liked having him as a go to person; but that’s just me (we men just want to settle down, smh). That hurt him for a while.
Now, he had a friend that was always around but wasn’t the most outspoken. Next thing I know, she started coming out with the group more often. I would see them talking, per usual, but something was different. He told me the following semester that she had admitted her interest in him, but she never wanted to say anything because she knew he really liked the other girl. To her surprise, he expressed that he had felt the same way, but didn’t want to jeopardize their friendship. Eventually, they officially started dating. And just last year, they became engaged. Had that girl said yes, he could have missed out on his future wife. — Setback = a Setup
Story 4:
One of my best friends was going through strenuous times. Things were literally so burdensome for her that it sometimes pushed her to periods of depression. I remember the long talks we would have and how worried I was for both her health and personal well-being. These conversations were going on for over a year, and it only got more difficult for her. She went through a period where she was losing motivation to attend class, coping with an unhealthy relationship that was holding her down, and dealing with issues in her family. Little did she know that God was working hard in the background.
I look at her now as she’s started to come into the future God had planned for her long ago, and can express nothing but joy at how far she’s come. She graduated, landed a great job, is living on her own, and things have continued to fall into place. Now I’m not saying all her problems have disappeared but the hardships she faced before all played a role in who she is today. And now, she has been planted in a place where she can help others through similar situations in life. — Setback = a Setup
Story 5:
This literally just happened today. Those who know me know that I have been sick of my commute to work that lasts over an hour and a half. Each time the opportunity arose to switch projects, I would be unable to for one reason or another. Over time, it became increasingly difficult to get up and make the long expedition to my work site. But today, this guy started speaking to me out of the blue—and if you know me, you also know that I am not a morning person (and I skipped breakfast, so I definitely was not trying to talk to anyone).
We talked about our commutes and it turns out that he works for my company (weird, I know). Not only that, he had also grown tired of his commute and project. But get this— this guy had a plan to retire in TWO YEARS at the age of TWENTY-FIVE—just let that sink in—through the guidance of this married couple who he adopted as mentors. Now, the third thing you would know if you knew me is my dream of being a stay-at-home dad. GUESS. WHAT. THIS. COUPLE. DOES. FOR. A. LIVING? They are full-time parents. B-R-U-H. I was speechless. And this all started from him just having a casual conversation with me. Now, I don’t know what the result of this will be, but the mere fact that this turn of events occurred when I was ready to quit was insane. If I had left any sooner, I would have missed out on that encounter. — Setback = a Setup.
The commonality in these stories is that the situation was dire, unbearable, and couldn’t have come at a worse point in time; but there was a reason for it. It may not have always come immediately, but it came at the right time. We forget that our timing in a society of instant gratification is different from God’s timing, and it’s always for our own good. So I ask that you keep this quote from Pastor Mike Todd in mind: “Your problem is not a punishment; it’s a platform for His power.”
Not every obstacle, failure, or detour in life is a “bad” thing. Sometimes, it’s a way for God to get you where you need to be and/or take you out of a situation that is hindering you from the overflow He is waiting to pour over you. If I think about it, many of my own setbacks have given me the knowledge to give advice to you all on numerous topics, and I’m grateful for that. So keep your heads up people and press on; greater things are yet to come (and maybe, greater things are still to be done here)! And remember, your current situation is not your final destination.
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