Love is an Action - So You Have to Do it to Show It
Although
many of us understand love to be a feeling, it is also most definitely an
action – meaning, you can’t just assume someone knows you love them without
showing it continuously. You usually hear this expressed in relationships but
the same goes for those we care for as well. We are all guilty of not showing
it enough but regret it the moment something happens to someone close to us, or
worse, we lose them. That means it’s your job to look for ways to show love to
those special individuals in your life; that way, they will never have to
question your love for them. And it doesn’t have to be something extravagant –
small gestures like surprising them with a visit, sending them food, or even
spending the day with them are all great ways that really don’t take much
effort. But overall, in my opinion, actions always speak louder than words.
Words Make Things Even Easier
But,
when you can’t do something for them, words can make a difference, too. It may
feel or sound repetitive to do, but your words will carry significant weight.
Now, I don’t saying it just because and not meaning it. In our relationships of
all kinds, we may think it’s pointless to say “I love you” to someone like a
sibling, partner, extended family, friends or even your parents because these
are people that are around you all the time. You’d actually be surprised how
much people don’t say it. Shoot, I’m even thinking now when last I told my
family I love them; so, trust me, I’m talking to myself, too. And you may even
be doing the step above of showing them your love. But verbally telling someone
that you love them goes a long way as well and is a nice compliment to your
actions. Words are a great substitute when you aren’t able to actually do
something physically with or for the person. And I’d opt for a phone or video
call to express it – it has more significance that way.
Memories Last a Lifetime
Now,
when we talk about the action of love, if you take the time to actually do
something to show those you care about you love them, you create lasting
memories. Those memories are what live on well past the time the person passes
on. It also serves as a great way to help them leave this world in a much
happier and more peaceful way, knowing that they were shown so much love during
their lifetime. To you, taking those actions may not seem that significant, or
that necessary when you are constantly bombarded by the demands and
responsibilities of life, but that is exactly what leads to the increasing
amount of regret people seem to experience these days. I’ve heard one too many
times how people wish they could have done this and wish they could have done
that, and yet, while they still have loved ones around them, they do nothing.
Get out there and make some memories you can hold in your heart.
The Efforts Will Go a Long Way
You’d be surprised how good you will feel when you make the effort
to express love to those you are close to, and you’d be shocked at the impact
it can have in the long run. Not only is it a positive thing to do, but it also
means a great deal to the person on the receiving end. Think about it – we live
in a time where people find it sufficient to send an “I love you” text and go
about their day. We have become crippled by the convenience that technology has
given us. Don’t get me wrong – technology is an amazing tool that has helped us
accomplish some amazing things and bridge numerous gaps. However, it has also
caused some people to get, for lack of a better term, lazy. That is why the
effort makes a huge difference. Effort can be something as simple as telling someone
you love them consistently throughout the week, or even making plans to do
something with or for them at least once a month. And if you plan ahead of
time, you can avoid the need for excuses if you don’t do anything.
It Improves Their Mood and Wellbeing
I
haven’t even begun to talk about the amazing health benefits of expressing
love. When you show someone you love them – verbally or by action (but
personally, as I stated above, I always believe action speak louder than words)
– you are helping improve their mood, reduce their stress, balance the chaos of
their life, receive positive energy, invigorate and energize their spirit, and
give them assurance (“lifetime insurance” (IFKYK)). Your expression of love is
something they will treasure and it will serve as a reminder on days when they
may not be feeling the best. Feelings can fluctuate pretty easily, and you
never know what someone at the time may be going through – so, your love may be
the timely uplifting they needed. And hey, happier people tend to live longer
than others. And how do you help keep a person happy? Show them love. It’s that
simple.
Less Regret Later
Now, let’s talk about regret. One definition of regret reads the
feeling of being sad, repentant, or disappointed over something that has been
done, especially a loss of missed opportunity. Another source defines it as a
feeling of sadness about something sad or wrong, or about a mistake that you
have made, and a wish that it could have been different and better. I think the
first ties more with those who felt like they could have done something to
avoid losing the person they loved. I think the second fits a lot better here with
those of us who make the mistake of not taking advantage of the time we have
now with those we love. And then the second part, our wish that we could have
done things differently. The truth is, we won’t understand the true depth of
regret until we actually lose someone and think back on all the times we could
have done something to show we love them. It’s worse when we think they may not
have known we actually loved them because we didn’t do enough or say it enough.
Don’t let that be you. Are the reasons you’re giving for not being able to do
anything legitimate hindrances or excuses you’re hiding behind? You don’t need
to justify it to me, but you won’t always have the chance to justify it to them
either.
Once They’re Gone, They’re Gone
Because at
the end of the day, once they are gone, that is unfortunately it. You will have
lost your opportunity to make use of the time you had with them to express that
love. Then you will be faced with the regret and shame that you could have done
something if you had only made the time to do it. And I am not saying this to
undermine verbally expressing love but that can’t be the only way you do it.
There’s a reason why the saying goes, “You make time for the things you love” –
that pertains to people as well. They live far away? Video call them. You never
get to see them? Order them something they like. Your schedule is too packed?
Schedule something on your calendar ahead of time for them. If you really try
to make the effort, I am sure you can figure something out, the same way we do
in other areas of our lives, especially the workplace. Because again, once they
are gone, they are gone.
Now, I do
want to clarify that I am not just talking about the sick and elderly. Old age
and illnesses are not the only ways people die. I unfortunately lost my cousin
in Nigeria while I was writing this, and he passed away on his birthday. That
was unfortunately, yet another reminder that life is too short, and pushed me to
finish this blog post. People can be taken away in a heartbeat and then what
will we have to say? Don’t be another person wishing they could’ve moved
mountains but didn’t when they had the chance. I implore and encourage you to
take my words to heart. God places people in our lives for a reason, a season
or a lifetime – but you’ll never know which it is for a person. Don’t take the
opportunities you have, and can make, for granted. Love is a powerful thing.
Let’s make use of it while we still can and use it the way for which it was
intended. You may not necessarily save their life, but you can make a person’s
life worthwhile.
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