Don’t Bear Your Burdens Alone

Depression is a severe feeling of unhappiness and/or despondency that many people suffer from, and yet somehow it does not always receive the attention it desperately needs. The rate of the number of people suffering from depression has steadily risen over the years but it has recently seen a sharp increase. BlueCross BlueShield conducted a study earlier this year that revealed, of the 41+ million people it insures, overall, there has been a 33% increase in the number of those diagnosed with depression, with a 63% increase in young adults ages 12-17, and a 47% increase in adults ages 18-34. I don’t know about you all, but these numbers are not only staggering, but unsettling as well.

And that’s just depression. The suicide rates are even more startling. According to the Washington Post, nearly 45,000 suicides occurred in 2016 in the US– 45,000! That’s more than twice the number of homicides that occurred that year! I could list pages of research and metrics but my point is to illustrate the seriousness of this situation. It’s great that we have a month dedicated to raising awareness of these issues, but finding ways to mitigate them should not be limited to a month. We should always be cognizant of others and the different signs that may indicate they need help, and learn to act on it.

Below are my suggestions on how each of us can help lower these statistics:

If you are the one going through it, know this:

• You Are Not Alone

If you believed you could handle this situation on your own, I hope you now understand that there are some things that require additional assistance. Life isn’t meant for a person to go through alone. There are others that have been in a similar, if not the same, predicament and can help you overcome it. But you have to be willing to be open up to them.

• It's Not Always Your Fault

There are some life events that are simply out of our control. Life is full of trials and tribulations that we have to endure, and some challenges just feel like they’re impossible to handle. But the funny thing is, a problem always seems impossible to overcome until you get past it.

• You Should Speak Up

There are resources available to help you– and not just websites and programs, but friends and family as well. 9 times out of 10, there are others who have faced your problem and conquered it. If you don’t say anything to anyone, and harbor it within you the whole time, how will anyone know something is wrong, and how can you expect to get the support you need?

• Asking For Assistance Does Not Burden Others

As unbelievable as it may be to hear, people actually want to help you. I’ve unfortunately had a couple of cases where my friends have lost people close to them because they never knew their friend was dealing with such serious emotions. They always say if they knew, they would have stepped in. There are people in your life who want to be there for you but only if you allow them to do so.

•  Stay Prayed Up

There are some challenges that require spiritual intervention to overcome. In God’s eyes, you matter, regardless of who and where you are in life. He listens and always answers your call when you need Him. You can cast all your burdens, stress, struggles, and any other kind of issue you have unto him because He doesn’t want you carrying the load on your own. So what’s stopping you?
 
 If you know someone who is going through it: 

• Make Time to Talk and/or Spend Time With Them

We always complain about never having the time for others, but what happens if, God forbid, it becomes too late for you to be there for them? Then what? Taking the time to be with them is major. Many times, these people feel like they are going through things alone, even when they are surrounded by others; so if you’re there for them, you’re providing them much needed support.

• Help Them Find a Solution To Their Problem(s)

Talking things out with someone is a good way to make sense of a problem. Lend an ear to them and just listen to everything that’s weighing them down. If they aren’t as open to sharing their problems/struggles with you, then give it time. Continue to remind them that you are there for them whenever they need you and that you really want to help. Eventually, they will come around.

• Reassure Them That Things Will Work Out

Even when we think things are going to be okay, it always helps to hear it from others for reassurance and confirmation. And things will be okay because you’ll be actively trying to assist them instead of allowing them to go through it alone. Don’t let them push you away so easily if they don’t want you involved but don’t push too hard to the point where they shut you out completely. Find a balance.

• Connect Them With Your Own Support Systems

If you feel like this is more than you can handle, connect them with people who have made a difference in your life, such as mentors, counselors, etc. They may not warm up to this idea as much; so try suggesting people they’d be more comfortable around, like someone of similar age, ethnicity, race, etc. Sharing your story and how that person got you through a rough patch in your life helps, too.

If you have a friend in general:

• Check-In With Them

Your friends are your friends for a reason and reaching out to them shows them that you care. I get it, we’re busy, but it doesn’t always have to be a call or a video chat; even a text would suffice– but don’t let that become the only means of communication. Sometimes, you won’t even know something is going on with a friend until you ask, but you have to take that first step to find out.

• Spread Awareness

Using our numerous social platforms is a great way to spread awareness on a large scale and let people know that you are there for anyone who’s going through tough times, or feel alone. Don’t get me wrong, I am just as guilty of lacking in this area as everyone else but I’ve learned that even though you may think it’s not worth posting about something like this, you never know who might need to see it.
 

No one should be left to endure the challenges of life alone. By God’s grace we have families, friends, and loved ones that genuinely want the best for us and care about our general well-being. The enemies of progress will tell you that you aren’t good enough, that you don’t deserve a happy life, and nothing you do will ever change where you are in life— and they couldn’t be more wrong. Block out those negative and adverse thoughts, and focus on the fact that you are here, you are loved, and you are worth it. So do yourself a favor and speak up. Someone, or some people, will be more than happy to lend an ear, a hand, and much more. Just say the word.