A Real Friend to the End

We have finally come to the last part of the friendship series and will now focus on what makes a friendship last after it’s been formed! Maintaining a friendship is a lot simpler than people make it seem. Granted, the keyword here is simple – I didn’t say it would always be easy. We all have our own lives and responsibilities, and it will not always be convenient to do what is necessary to uphold a friendship. However, nothing in life that’s worthwhile usually comes that easy. So, I want to help you understand the steps you should take to ensure your friendships stand the test of time.

Check in With Them Occasionally

It is important to see how your friends are doing as often as you can. Checking in with them is an intentional effort that shows that you want to make sure they’re alright, that you want to understand what may be going on in their lives, and that you care about their well-being. If you aren’t already doing this, I would strongly recommend you start. Also, we have become too accustomed to using text as our main (and potentially only) means of communication with the important people in our lives. So, make an effort to check-in face-to-face when possible! If face-to-face can’t happen, then video chat. Don’t let your friendship be reduced to a text message thread.

Be a Friend, Even When It’s Inconvenient

It may not always be a convenient time when a friend needs you, but being willing to help them when they need it most shows they are a priority to you, and that you genuinely want to be supportive. Sacrifice is a given in any friendship – it could be your time, finances, knowledge, and/or resources. Regardless of what they need, it’s up to you to provide that support when you can. Sometimes, it’s being the shoulder for them to cry on; other times, it’s providing advice in a difficult situation; it could even be supplying funds when the finances aren’t financing. You may not always be able to help them (there are some situations that can’t be helped and your friend should understand in those instances) but, try to be as helpful as possible.

Acknowledge When You’re Wrong

Trust me – I know it’s not easy to do. It takes real humility to admit a mistake, but the benefits are worth it. You don’t want to be the friend that can never take accountability when you do something wrong because you will find out very quickly that people will want less to do with you. None of us are perfect, and sometimes we are at fault. The defining factor is whether or not you can admit when you are in the wrong, and work to rectify it (as I mentioned in part 2 of this series). Actions like this not only strengthens your bond, but helps your friend build a great deal of trust in and respect for you as well.

Be Considerate and Selfless

Make sure all your conversations and activities aren’t just centered around you. Also, be mindful of how certain topics may be sensitive areas for your friends (e.g., they had traumatic experiences in the past, they lost a loved one). I have seen cases where a friend focuses every discussion on their problems. I have also seen people who are only free (or willing) to hang out when it’s something they want to do. Don’t be that friend. These actions can start to affect your friendship in a negative way because you come off as selfish. And I am not saying you need to force yourself to do something you have no desire or interest in; I’m just saying to remember friendship isn’t just about you.

COMMUNICATE!

The underlying theme with most topics I have discussed throughout this series is that communication is absolutely necessary! I get that you may not always want to be open about your business, but you are doing yourself a disservice by bottling everything up inside. Your friend won’t know something is wrong unless you can be transparent and honest with them. You’d be surprised how above and beyond people will go for you when the opportunity presents itself. And if they do something you don’t appreciate, speak up! This way, they understand that they did something wrong (because they may not know) and can work to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Save yourself the drama and the burden, and just be open.

There may not be a rulebook for friendships, and there are other things you should do to keep your friendship going, but there are certain minimum requirements needed to maintain a strong friendship. We all have our shortcomings, and we may not always get things right the first time, but a friendship isn’t about perfection; it’s about progression. As long as you are putting in the effort and work to show your friends that you care, want to be there for them, and want the best for them, your friendship will continue to grow and prosper. 

And it should be reciprocal! The Bible says, “… you reap what you sow,” (Galatians 6:7) and that is for both good and bad actions. Treat your friends well, and you can be treated well in return. Take advantage of them, and/or mistreat them, and you will eventually reap the same. So, let’s go out there, and build and cultivate some strong, healthy, long-lasting friendships!