Being able to witness a milestone such as entering a new decade calls for a time of self-reflection. Personally, it’s been a time to think about how far I’ve come in the past 10 years; particularly as a result of the environments I’ve found myself in, and the impact they’ve had on my life. But not just my own, but others as well. I get it - we’re all special in our own way thanks to the Man upstairs. But of course, given free will, we make decisions for ourselves. Those decisions have typically been influenced by our environment - whether we were born in a low-income neighborhood or a wealthy one; whether we grew up in a home with one parent or both; whether we went to a HBCU, a PWI, were home-schooled, or didn’t go to school at all - we were all impacted by external factors. But the question is, how did it play a role in how our lives panned out?
Let me provide some background about myself. I was born into a single-parent (mom) household with five siblings. I grew up in a living situation that was not even up to par of average living standards; constantly experienced financial issues as my siblings and I were sent home from school due to missed tuition payments; learned the hard way that not every holiday meant you were given something; worked tirelessly to get through high school; earned a full-ride to a PWI, and now work full-time in the real world (by God’s grace).
Along the way, I was in different environments that played a part in shaping who I was as a person. How? Every environment was unique in its own way. Whether it was the age of my colleagues, the most prevalent race surrounding me, the financial standing of the community - you get the point - everyone brought something different at each stage of my life. Throughout life, we go through innumerable experiences that have influenced some area of our lives in some way. The magnitude and significance differ based on a couple of factors in that environment:
Time - how much of your life was spent in it?
People - what kind of individuals were you surrounded by, and who did you interact with?
Values - what ideas, beliefs, ways of life, etc. were most popular, and/or were the norm?
Physical Location - where was it, and what was the area like?
Role - why were you in this environment in the first place?
Each factor holds a degree of impact and could affect your viewpoints on life; your treatment of and interaction with others; your drive and future goals; what’s important to you; your current character; and even where you decide to work. One example for me was attending a PWI as an young, African-American male for 4 years. After being there so long, some aspects of it impacted my life moving forward. For instance, I left with a stronger sense of my cultural and race identities due to the mistreatment my people endured throughout my college career.
Maybe for you it’s being a hardened person now because you were shown tough love growing up. Maybe you’re a more ambitious adult because you had to work twice as hard as your peers in high school and college to be recognized. Or maybe you have a hard time finding love in your 30’s because you were living your best life in your 20’s. Different circumstances, different impacts, different stages of life. The point here is that we live in a cycle where each experience leaves more or less of an impression on us, and that affects the experiences we have moving forward.
Now I am happy with the person I have become, but have I become who I wanted to be? If I had made different decisions, would I be in a better, or worse place? Take some time to think about it yourself. Where could you be if your environment was different from what it was in the past? Obviously, we can’t tell the future, and therefore don’t know what our revised upbringing would have changed. But sometimes it’s good to reflect on how far you’ve come to determine what needs to be done to get to where you want to be, and what decisions you can make now to get there.
My overall goal is to help you all understand that even though you may not have had control over the environments that you were in growing up, you do now. If the environment around you isn’t serving you in the way you desire, pushing you to be the best version of yourself, and/or helping you recognize what steps you need to take to shape a better future for yourself, then do something about it! Just because your past brought you to where you are now doesn’t mean it has to be the same way for the rest of your life.
Imagine yourself reading this in another 10 years, reminiscing on your past, and reflecting on the journey you took to get there. Will you look back and be proud of the shift you made to become the person you are then, or will you be disappointed that you remained stagnant and didn’t make a change? Who did you decide to surround yourself with? What did you get involved in? What did you make an effort to be consistent with? You could literally take the next couple of months, years, etc. to dictate the next decade of your life. That means the decisions you make now will make all the difference. But that is for you to decide so hey, balls in your court. Choose wisely.
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