Traveling Solo Dolo

Last month, I decided to take a solo dolo trip to Bangkok, Thailand for my birthday! Why did I pick Bangkok? I honestly still don’t know lol but everything seemed to fall into place from planning the trip, to booking activities and tours, to securing the flight and hotel. So armed with my mother’s hundreds of prayers, and all my travel necessities, I was on my way. And I can honestly say traveling on my own was one of the most worthwhile and eye-opening experiences I’ve ever had, and I would highly recommend people to try it. It doesn’t necessarily have to be out of the country but taking a trip alone puts you in a space where you can experience things for yourself without the input of others, grow and cultivate your sense of independence, and really get to know the real you. I certainly did, and I learned key some things along the way:

• Uncomfortable situations create room for serious growth
• If you aren’t willing to visit a place yourself, you’ll never truly get the real experience
• You have to immerse yourself in the culture of others to truly learn about them, and their way of life
• You can’t always rely on the opinions of others as everyone will have their own opinion on different destinations
• Someone staring at you doesn’t mean there’s something wrong; they just might not be used to seeing people like you
• Traveling isn’t just about finding the nightlife; it’s about having an experience in a place you haven’t been before and taking it all in for your enjoyment
• When you step out of the comfort of your bubble (especially those from the US), you realize just how fortunate you are and the kinds of luxuries you take for granted
• People will have preconceived notions about you based on what they have been told or learned through the media; so they may treat you accordingly, and/or observe you to confirm or deny those things
• You may be treated differently since you are an outsider but understand that being treated differently is not always a bad thing (e.g., you could get offered better service, some people may be willing to lower prices for you)

Now, despite these lessons, many are naturally fearful of taking a trip on their own, and for good reason. You are in a new place where you may or may not know the people there, in a culture you may not be used to, and you’re by yourself. Then, factor in if you are a woman, safety can become a big issue, as well as how you may be treated in that area. So many people would hesitate with taking such a huge step. But I think it would help to understand the benefits behind taking a chance on such a trip. Those benefits include:

• Learning new things about yourself
• Gaining a greater sense of independence
• Having to only worry about yourself and your well-being
• Experiencing the things around you at your own pace
• Seeing things through your own perspective and not others
• Doing things you want to do (“Say it louder for the people in the back!”)
• Becoming more comfortable in uncomfortable and unfamiliar situations (crucial for your overall growth)
• Saving money since you’re only spending on yourself (this was huge for me - couldn’t believe how much I saved)
• Diversifying yourself (something we should all do because there’s more to life than your hometown and neighborhood)
• Peace (and this can’t be stressed enough, nor can I truly explain in words the kind of serenity you get when you travel on your own and the exhilarating sensation that comes along with it; you just have to find out for yourself)

So if the idea of traveling alone has started to peak your interest, I have compiled a list of things you should and shouldn’t do in order to ensure you get the most out of your trip.

Do’s

• Learn some key phrases of the country (if international)
• Research the place you’re going to (e.g., the crime rate, currency exchange rate, recent news, laws)
• Check the weather before you go and pack accordingly (you’ll thank me later)
• Read reviews of different venues before you visit them (Yelp was a huge help)
• Take some of the country’s currency (if international) with you and exchange before getting there (I recommend Travelex)
• Download a safety app that will alert you of threats or safety concerns in your area (stay woke)
• Book a hotel (if you backpack or are used to traveling alone, just be sure the area you stay in is safe and/or has an embassy nearby)
• Make sure you carry your wallet and passport (if international) at all times
• Visit major sites and hidden gems of the area
• Talk to the locals when you can and feel comfortable doing so
• Try some different things (e.g., food, activities, venues)
• Track how much you spend (trust me- it’s very easy to spend frivolously when you’re on vacation)
• Check-in with family and friends periodically (they’ll probably be very worried and if you have an African mom, not doing so may result in some calls to the Missing Hotline (not even kidding))

Don'ts

• Go off with strangers
• Drink too much when you are out
• Stay in an unsafe area or neighborhood
• Take pictures of embassies or government buildings
• Insult others (research what’s considered disrespectful in that area)
• Go to places too late at night alone (especially the less populated areas)
• Engage in conversations with people who are asking too many personal questions

And of course:

Be Careful Of

• Pickpocketing (happens more often than you realize)
• Overly nice locals (use your best judgement and instincts)
• People who don’t like foreigners (especially those from America)
• Vendors trying to sell you items you don’t have much knowledge about (e.g., jewelry, investments, timeshares)
• Street markets that overcharge because you’re a foreigner (they can be nice and still finesse you)

Overall, I understand why traveling alone can be a pretty scary thought, and some may be discouraged from doing it after thinking of the countless hypothetical situations that may not be the most safe, favorable or even enjoyable for them. However, having that kind of mindset in life may only serve to hold you back because life is all about risks, and you won’t make real progress without taking them. I think my real purpose here is to encourage independence and not missing out on opportunities because others aren’t willing to take them with you. That is probably one of the biggest mistakes you can make in life.

I am also not encouraging you to immediately jump on a flight to Mozambique. Take smaller steps on your own like going to a museum, grabbing lunch or dinner, watching a movie at the theater, and then progress to bigger activities such as going to social events, workout classes, or whatever you like to do. Then, when you feel ready, you can take a trip to somewhere within your country, and move to the farther ones later on. I skipped all that and jumped on a plane out of the country because clearly my birthday had me feeling different but obviously that’s not for everyone.

I saw this solo trip as an opportunity for a breakthrough. Attempting something I had never done before was no simple feat but the results were better than what I expected. It gave me the chance to have the experience of a lifetime uninhibited by opinions of others. Not only that, but it served as encouragement for me to try other things on my own and motivated others who were still unsure to actually try it. So I’d like to impart one last piece of advice to you all- don’t let the fear, input or lack of knowledge of others hinder you from doing things in life for yourself because you may regret it later. And who’d want to live a life full of regrets? Not I.