How to Get Mr. or Ms. Right

So you want to find the perfect guy or gal, huh? Well. You can’t. A perfect person doesn’t exist. Now, if you’re talking about finding Mr. or Ms. Right, then I can help you. A lot of times we go through life trying to find the perfect person in every respect, and all we are doing is wasting time, energy, and missing out on some amazing people. I think that’s the most important advice I could give because I hear a lot of people say how people aren’t good enough for them but they’re standards are either ridiculously high or impossible. Then they wonder why they’re single. Also, to all those who are looking for the perfect person, who’s to say you’re perfect enough for them? You’re going down an endless road trying to find this person, and you’ll continuously be disappointed when you see that no one you meet is. The real goal should be to find the perfect match for you. 

How do the lyrics go? “Nobody’s perfect, nobody’s perfect ey ey, but your perfect for me.” That person most definitely exists and is just waiting for you to sweep them up (or waiting for you to be ready to be swept up). If you haven’t found that person yet, maybe you haven’t been going about things the right way. That’s where I step in. Here are some tips to keep in when dealing with a man or a woman.

Men

Approach women respectfully: Women deal with enough on a daily basis, from being spoken of like they are an object to being approached by guys whose only goal is to take them to bed. Do them a favor and be the man that actually speaks to her like a lady.

Pay close attention to them: A woman remembers everything and therefore remember the details about yourself that you share with them. So you should do the same with them. Remember the things she shares with you, and impress her with how well you were listening. Know the things she likes, dislikes, is passionate about, her history, and anything else significant about her to show her you are taking the time to get to know her.

A date isn’t staying at your house and watching a movie: In college, this is something that becomes the norm, but staying in and ‘chilling’ isn’t a date. If you want to make her happy and feel special, take her out and treat her well. Of course there are days when you two will want to just stay in and relax, and that is perfectly fine.

Make them feel special: One common mistake for guys is thinking that once they get a woman’s attention, then their work is done. That type of mindset will get them right back on those dating sites for singles (I heard eHarmony has good results). Women need to be reminded that they are special and that they mean the world to you. It could be as little as sending a text that you were thinking about them. Just something to show them you care.

Don’t expect sex for doing something nice: This seems to be something a lot of guys misunderstand. Every women won’t jump into bed with you just because you treated her to a nice dinner or bought her drink. A woman who respects herself wouldn’t give you anything so soon just for spending some money on her.

Careful what you say: They don’t forget anything.

Be a gentleman: Even though it may seem like there are a lot of women who don’t appreciate things like holding a door open, having that mindset and not doing anything for them is a reason why they believe there aren’t any more good men. Be courteous to the women you meet. It can go a long way.

Women

If you want to be approached, make yourself approachable: Meaning, don’t be around your friends all the time. Guys will not always take the chance of getting turned down and having your army of girlfriends as a live audience to witness it. Something as simple as a smile makes a difference. Majority of the guys I have spoken to said they would immediately speak to a woman if she was smiling when he met them. Just have a welcoming vibe and guys are sure to approach.

Guys won’t chase forever: If you are one of those women who like the man to chase you as you continue to play hard to get, you may be discouraged when he eventually stops. We live in a world where the ratio of men to women is usually in favor of the guy. So if you don’t want to be upfront with things, he may eventually get tired of the act and move on to something better.

Don’t be hard to read: If you are sending him signals, make sure they are clear and direct. Guys have enough trouble struggling to understand women; they don’t need you playing mind games with them. If you are interested or are flirting with him, make sure he knows. Make your intentions clear.

Flirt: When I say flirt, I mean it in a form of communication with romantic intent while still respecting yourself. This is a really good way of showing a guy that you are interested in them and seeing where they stand early. It is not only a unique way of doing so, it’s something they don’t see every day, so you’ll definitely stand out. Just know the difference between being flirtatious and being thirsty.

Don’t expect everything: A guy won’t always take you to the nicest restaurant just to make a good impression on say, the first date. Money doesn’t buy happiness. Maybe he takes you to a cheaper place to see how you react (I’m not talking about McDonald’s fellas). The value should be in how well the actual date plays out. That also means you shouldn’t always expect him to pay for everything. In an age where equality is something women want, it’s fair for you and your date to split the check sometimes. Of course he will treat you when he can, but he will really appreciate you offering instead of him dealing with the awkward situation of bringing it up at the right point in time.

Both Sides

Be the person you want to attract: If you want to attract a person that shares the same vision and characteristics as you do, then that is what you should be portraying to others. Don’t try to be something or someone you aren’t.

No means no: If someone doesn’t like you, then you aren’t meant to be with that person. There will always be better options.

Be true to who you are: A person will accept you as you are if they really care about you. If you find yourself changing who you are to satisfy someone else, then that person doesn’t like you for you. A true connection is found when you and another person come together sharing the same values, otherwise the bond isn’t as strong. That also means that who you are in real life and how you portray yourself on things like social media should match.

Don’t put up a front: To my guys, don’t overdo the ‘swag’ you may not have. To my ladies, don’t overdo it on the makeup and push-up bras. You create a facade that will eventually come to an end. It’s best to be up front with things from the start.

Be honest: Honesty is the best policy. If you ever want a relationship to work, you need to have honesty and starting it from day one is a good way to ensure it continues in the future.

Don’t get lazy: People think once they are committed to someone they don’t have to do much to keep them. They couldn’t be more wrong. You need to remind that person all the time that they are special to you and that you appreciate them. It doesn’t have to be something major, just a reminder of some sort. And the occasional thanks for the things they do goes a long way, too.

Don’t bring up your past if you don’t need to: And I mean absolutely need to. A lot of times people mistake their partner or date not speaking up about them bringing up exes as them not minding it. They are probably just being nice but no one wants to hear about your baggage. The point of talking to someone new is starting fresh so treat it as such, and leave the baggage at home. It can weigh down the relationship if it gets to that point. Bringing up your past a lot is usually an indication you haven’t moved on.

Communicate: This is probably the most important thing I can say. No one can read the other person’s mind so voice your concerns and thoughts, with consideration for the other person’s feelings, and save so many unnecessary problems in the future.

EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT: No two guys are the same, and neither are two girls. You need to remember that, no matter how hard it is to believe that. If you don’t, you’re only asking to be single even longer. Don’t assume things about someone you are with now because of your past endeavors because it will lead you to unnecessary pain and stress, and you may eventually push that person away.

Many people will say that they’re fine being single and that they don’t need someone to be happy, and there’s no issue with that. Being independent is a wonderful thing. But everyone wants to be loved and have someone to make them happy. You can’t do everything on your own in life. We have two genders for a reason. Also, like I’ve said in previous posts, don’t let your past determine your future. That will be your biggest poison and worst mistake. People only wait around for so long. If you aren’t willing to take that chance with a good catch, you’ll miss out and they’ll move on. They may be single for the night, but you may be single for a while.