It haunts us from our childhoods, and stays with most of us even when we are adults. It's the barrier that hinders us from fully opening up to those we care deeply about. It's the veil we always wish we had to hide ourselves from the outside world. It's the voice in our head convincing us we aren't good enough and that we won't reach our full potential. It's insecurity.
Insecurity is one of man's greatest challenges to overcome and it's not an easy task at all. Many of us have built the confidence to overcome it, but many of us have not. I still struggle at times with insecurities that I have and I know just how much of an issue it can pose to a person. I've come from a long line of insecurities that I am glad to have overcome to be the person I am today. That is why I try whenever I can to help others who may still be dealing with their own insecurities, whether it be about their looks, knowledge, characters, traits, or whatever else they worry about. It never hurts to have someone give you input on how to overcome it, and that is my goal today. I want to hit some aspects of insecurity I think people really need to hear, and I hope that my input proves to be of great assistance to those who need it. Even to those who don't, maybe these words will help you realize the right things to say to those you know deal with insecurities of their own.
First, the looks department. Looks are and always will be a major aspect of our lives. It is the first thing people see when they come in contact with us. It sometimes draws a reaction from certain individuals based on the way a person looks. Some people are fascinated by a person's appearance, some are attracted to it, some can't get enough of it, and then there are some who dislike it. Everyone is going to have a different reaction to the way a person looks and that's because we all have different opinions. No one's look will appeal to every single person. That is what makes it unique. What may not be appealing to some will be appealing to others. You can't allow one person's OPINION determine the truth. We were all made to be beautiful individuals, and there will always be someone to appreciate it (and not just family and friends). I don't want to make this seem like looks only come into cases when you want a relationship or someone to like you. Looks can be your physical appearance and apparel as well, not just your face. Everyone has their own style, and those who choose to follow the fashion of others lose their originality and uniqueness. You shouldn't have to dress a certain way to impress or please others. Your physical body is your temple. Treat it as such. Don't hate it just because someone else doesn't appreciate it. It is your own. Own it and cherish it because no one else has what you have. Don't cause harm to it, or cause it any problems by not eating or treating it well, or else you really will create something that isn't attractive. No one can tell you you're not attractive, beautiful, or handsome, because you are and the only person that can change that is you. So embrace the person you are and what you have been given, Don't conform yourself to match what is around you and be accepted by those who obviously don't appreciate you because they want you to change just to please them.
Second, character and traits. Let me start by saying that no one is normal. If you think you're normal, something is wrong with you. We're all weird because we're different. People give tags to everything and that is why certain words have bad connotations. Being weird, or unique (which I guess is the better word), means that you are an individual and so you should embrace it. If you try to be something you aren't, you are living a lie. Our character, genes, and traits are what we received to make us individuals. That means we are not the same as the person next to us, and that's an amazing thing. Who would want to live in a world where every single person is the same and there is no variance? (To the conceited or self-absorbed people that said they would, you may want to reevaluate some of your characteristics). We build communities and nations because different people bring different views that help make the world a better place. Don't think just because your opinion may be different than everyone else in the room that it doesn't matter. Half the time, everyone else is following others' footsteps. Be the leader. Be the individual. Be yourself. "Know Yourself." You matter and who you are makes a difference. Insecurity tells you that you're different and no one will accept you. But why would you change yourself for individuals who don't value who you are? Do yourself a favor and be the best "you" you can be.
The last thing I want to point out is the case of race, culture, and ethnicity. I always see individuals who are not proud of the person they are and where they come from because of how they are treated. First, to those people causing this problem, how dare you disrespect someone because they are different? Deep down inside you probably wish you could be as diverse or unique as they are. What if you were who they were? Is that the type of treatment you would want to endure on a daily basis? To those on the receiving end of this problem, you disrespect where you come from by not claiming them. Who cares what those other people think about your people and culture? They weren't born in it and therefore don't have to be in it. You were and it is apart of what makes you who you are. And frankly, you can't change it (lol) so you may as well embrace it. You can't change your race (you are the color you were born at birth), and you can't erase your background because its there before you even come into the world. Even if you could, you would want to change to be like everyone else for what reason? To be accepted? By your "friends"? So you don't "stand out"? Remember, culture, race, and ethnicity is what makes you diverse. It's another aspect that sets you apart from others, and adds to your individuality. Those same people you want to change for won't be there forever. You still have to go back home to your real life. Don't make it a burden because its not a curse to be born from a different country or culture. It just means you are another mind coming from a different background that can bring just as much to the table as anyone else can.
All of my words are meant to make the point that being an individual is the biggest favor you can do for yourself. Now, that's not to say go out and shove your individuality in other peoples' faces, but it does mean not letting others dictate your life for you. People want to change so much because of what society says and thinks is right. But if we all just believed everything we were told, what kind of crazy world would we be living in? Imagine the progress we've made in life because people chose to embrace who they were to be different. Insecurity locks us in a cage that we think is impossible to escape. But if we would just take a deep breath, relax, and believe in ourselves, we will realize the cage has always been open, we just need to open the door ourselves. It won't happen overnight of course. Getting over insecurity is a process, But it takes a couple of things: confidence that you are an amazing person that does not need to fit other peoples' likes and dislikes, love in yourselves and who you are, consistency of facing challenges everyday to overcome insecurity, and the drive to wake up everyday knowing you are getting closer to breaking free of your chains. Also, remember one day you'll want to share your life with someone. Think how they might feel knowing they could never be with all of you because you hide that piece of yourself, whether it be physically, or emotionally. Just as they'd want to share all of themselves with you, they would want you to do the same. Don't let insecurities limit or weaken the bonds you make in life. You need to trust that as you are getting through those insecurities, its for your betterment. Not just to bring you closer to that special someone in your life, but for you as well, because you are the one that's important. You continue to be yourself and embrace not only who you are, but what you have been given, and listen less to the voice in your head saying nothing you have is good enough, you're not attractive enough, no one will want you, there is someone much better than you are, and all of your supposed "shortcomings", you will see a drastic difference in your life. Remember, there will only be one you that comes along in life.
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