Welcome to Heartbreak

We hear love songs about it all the time. We watch movies whose theme is centered around it. But do we really know what heartbreak is? Do we know what it's like to feel a piece of our hearts be taken away from us? Does the media really give us a clear understanding of the experiences of heartbreak and the process that comes with it? Breaking someone's heart or having your heart broken are two of the most painful things anyone can go through. As easy as it may sound to some, it's something extremely difficult that can leave your heart feeling as heavy as your eyelids after pulling multiple all-nighters.

Unfortunately, for whatever reason it happened, it is something most of us will have to endure at some point in our lives. It feels like our lives are over and that a piece of our very soul has been lost. However, even though it may not seem like it, it's not the end of the world. Trust me. It is a long, stressful, and tolling process, but you will get through it. You just have to take the right steps to be able to get past what happened, and channel that energy into bettering yourself. I don't say any of this to justify doing it or to justify that why it happened to you. I am giving my input in the case that it does occur, you have some guidelines on how to deal with it. So here are some steps:

Get your mind off of what happened.
This sounds impossible since it's such a saddening event that affects our lives but you won't do yourself any favors by beating yourself up about it. Not only will it continue to be detrimental to your emotions, but it will keep weighing you down. After you have taken some time to just be on your own to express your sorrow and grief, try to put your mind and efforts into other things so it doesn't end up ruining your life. Life won't stop because this happened, and if you are able to at least put yourself in the mindset to not think so much about it, it will go a long way.

Reflect on why it happened and what led to it.
Take some time after you have gotten through the rough part of the process to understand why things ended the way they did. Don't just think of how in the wrong the other person may be, because you very well may find yourself in the same situation as you are now. Think of things you may have done wrong, areas you may have lacked in, and any actions you took that could have contributed to the situation. It takes a lot for us to admit we are wrong about certain things. We need to be able to swallow our pride and do some self-reflection so we don't end up in this same place over and over again. Maybe the person just wanted you to understand certain things or make certain changes. Whatever the reason may be, if you just keep thinking about all the wrong they did, you won't make any progress.

Concentrate more on helping yourself and making yourself happy.
I won't sugarcoat it and say things will go smoothly, because they won't. It is going to be a strenuous process that takes a lot out of you, make you question different aspects of life, and even doubt yourself. These are the kinds of things that will continue to make things harder for you. Instead, start doing things for yourself. Take up hobbies you didn't always have time to do or start, catch up on work and activities you fell behind on, and other activities that will continue to help you in some kind of way, whether it be mentally, physically, and/or emotionally.

Remember, things happen for a reason.
People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Even though things may seem perfect with someone, it doesn't mean they were the perfect person or that they were the perfect fit for you. Don't think a relationship is a waste. They can teach us lessons about life and people, help us learn more about ourselves, and provide us other aspects that will prove to be beneficial to us throughout our lives. Try not to think so much about the negative side of it and think of some positive things that may have come out of it (as crazy as that seems). There will be someone else that comes along. You just have to be patient and not actively search for a replacement because you put yourself in the mindset that you need someone to be happy. Let it come to you. In the case that the person did come in for a lifetime, then things will work out for the both of you in the end. It'll just take time and a consensus between the two of you.

As I said before, all this advice is just meant as a guideline on where to start following a heartbreak. None of it is guaranteed but it is useful advice if you take it seriously. I know that it is an experience that no one wants to go through, and trust me when I say it is a depressing time to overcome. But at the end of it, you come out a stronger person with a lot more to offer and better understanding of things so that this will hopefully be the last time something like this happens. Or in certain cases, you may rekindle that relationship, and it'll be stronger than it was before.