By this time, most of us have had some experience with a relationship, good or bad. A relationship is typically a bond two people share with one another who have mutual feelings for one another. Some people get in relationships because they can't stand the thought of that person being with someone else. Some people commit to a relationship because they figure "Why not?" or "What's the worse that could happen?". Some others take on a relationship with the hope it leads to something stable in the future that could be taken to the next level. We all have our own reasons to be in a relationship. But what standard do we hold relationships to these days? Is an actual relationship something people strive to have, or is their aim to gain something in that relationship instead? Back in the day, a relationship was something people held to the highest standard, and it came with things like getting the approval of one's parents, making clear what your intentions were from the start, etc. Nowadays, things are different. Different in good and bad ways. With the new generation came a new way of doing things. So how about we look at this new style that my generation has adapted.
First, let's talk about how a good number of people throw love into most relationships. Love is not something you can just say you have for another person besides your direct family. It's something that results from a strong bond two people share. It's something you feel inside and you know. These days, people will bring love into a relationship to trap someone, for physical gain, to lead someone on with false hope, and other reasons. That's not to say that no one who says it doesn't mean it but it is definitely prevalent today that the word "love" doesn't always hold the same weight as it should. Second, a relationship sometimes isn't as secure as people would hope. Little issues that are left alone end up building up and breaking people apart. Temptation and words from people outside the relationship causes people to gradually grow further apart. A lot of this can be seen in the college environment when many people seem to know your business and believe that it's their place to interfere with matters that don't concern them. Things discussed between two people end up being discussed by everyone else who have nothing to do with it. And third, a relationship isn't held to the same standard that it deserves. People say they're in "open relationships" where they can do whatever they want without regret. People will constantly cheat on their significant other, continuously promising they will change. People go behind the other person's back and do something they shouldn't, don't tell the other person, and then get mad when the other person does the same thing. These are just a few examples and I don't get the purpose in these relationships. If you really are dedicated to that one person, then people on the outside shouldn't matter. You wouldn't do things to jeopardize that relationship. If you look at relationships in and out of school, you will see a significant difference. A person out of school realizes that most people are serious about their lives and don't have time for people who want to play games with their relationships. In school, people are still trying to find themselves and figure out who they are, so they don't always think about how an action they take can affect their relationship. It's kind of messed up how some of our thought processes are when it comes to how we treat other people, especially those close to us. So what exactly influences people in their relationships? What gives them the mindset and ideas that reflect their actions when they are committed?
Well, one influence is their own parents. A young man who sees his father always abuse his mother and is told that is how women are to be treated will probably emulate that in his own relationship. A young lady who didn't have a father figure to explain how a woman should be properly treated may allow this type of behavior to persist in her relationship. Another influence is the celebrity world and the different relationships they uphold. When an actor or actress cheats on their significant other and they end up making up, no matter how many times it happens, the youth who may not fully understand the right from the wrong may see that cheating is alright. Other influences may be the absence or presence of mature or adult figures in one's life. A young man with a dad and a young man without one may treat women differently or uphold a relationship in a different manner. The same works if it was his mom that was the only one present or absent in his life. The same applies to a young woman as well. Different influences in our lives will influence how our lives will be, and how we treat different aspects of life. What separates us from the next person will be if we take each influence with a grain of salt. Will we take just one person's advice and carry it to the T? Will we listen to different inputs and differentiate what is right and wrong? Who are the right people to ask for advice? Who are good influences in our lives? These kinds of questions are what we must take in mind and understand before we want to commit to someone else. Once you make that commitment, you need to honor it and do whatever it takes to maintain it.
What next steps do we take then? Well, I believe that we should first ensure you have a good idea of who we are before we commit to someone else. You should have a good level of self-esteem and respect for yourself so things in a relationship don't change you as a person. Next, make sure you not only trust that other person for the right reasons, but also that you both stay loyal to one another no matter the situation. If you believe you can't stay loyal to that one person for a long period of time, you should spare both of you the trouble, because you then have to take the other person's feelings into account. Would you want to hurt them? Then, most important, make sure you are starting the relationship on a good foundation. When I say this, I mean don't let the attraction merely be physical. At least know some other things about the other person like their birthday, favorite color, are they weird, what things they like, what they like about you, what you like about them, and all that good stuff. If you have a good foundation, you ensure that your relationship won't crumble at the sign of trouble. Like I mentioned before, take advice with a grain of salt. Just because I said all these things doesn't mean I am 100% right. These are my opinions and input based on my past relationships. Take some advice from other people, see what makes sense, what is right and wrong to you, etc, and then you'll be able to make the best choice for yourself. A person's heart isn't something to play games with because just like glass, it's gonna be pretty hard to piece back together if you break it.
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